


we're dead men walking

by jaemology



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Anarchy, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gang AU, Happy Ending, LIKE A LOT OF ANGST, M/M, Multi, bc I can't handle anything with sad endings, chenle's a medical genius and kinda studies under taeil, cursing, he's skilled in every sense of the word and he's a sniper, hyuck used to be an assassin but it's not really mentioned, i can't do norenmin justice, jaemin used to be cheery but war fucks you up, jeno had an abusive childhood, markhyuck and chensung are implied, more like renmin suffer and jeno goes through emotional hell, norenmin suffer im sorry, renjun is a badass and will always be a badass, tagged just in case though, there's also a makeout scene but uh it's shit, there's violence because it's a gang au but I don't think it's too graphic, they all had really bad pasts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 13:21:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15510783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaemology/pseuds/jaemology
Summary: where the world is thrown into anarchy and mark’s portion of taeyong’s gang make their last stand, but they’re not ready for their love to be torn apart.all things must come to an end, but you can be damn sure they'll fight as long as they can.





	we're dead men walking

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic on here! i'm sorry it's probably crap, but this was the product of feeling angsty and loving norenmin. i had youngblood by 5sos on repeat while writing this! also, i'm sorry if there are any plotholes. enjoy!

_maybe this is it._ jaemin wonders. _maybe this is the part where we die. the final bravado to the world. the final heist. the climax to the end._

 

and with those thoughts, jaemin drops twenty feet below. fireworks are blasting in greens, golds, blues, and reds behind him. his guns are shooting every damn thing he can see and he’s praying to every god he never believed in.

 

_maybe even if tonight’s my last night, renjun and jeno will be alright._

 

it’s that idea, that hope, that keeps jaemin fighting. fighting, not for himself, but for the future, for the only love he’s felt in his pathetic life. if he doesn’t survive, he’ll make sure they have the chance to.

 

 _fuck_ is the only word jaemin is left with when he hits rock bottom, when he hits the forest floor. his legs crumple and sharp pain strikes his knees. almost as sharp as the gaze of renjun’s wanting eyes, hinting for something more than the tame kisses he shared with jaemin. almost as sharp as jeno’s blade, the twisting and turning of the metal in jeno’s palms, _dancing_ , as jeno had taken a shaky breath when he leaned of jaemin’s plan to be the distraction, the sacrifice.

 

 _almost._

 

and it’s them he thinks of, jeno and renjun, as his vision leaves him and he plants face-first into the soft dirt of the earth.

 

_i’m sorry_

 

**_. . ._ **

 

 

“it’s time,” mark’s voice had come. it was hollower than it normally was, but jeno pays no mind to it. they’re all on edge tonight.

 

it’s the last night, after all. who knows if they’ll be the same after it? who knows if they’ll be alive?

 

jeno’s sure he won’t be alright. not since taeyong’s roles for them had reached them and jeno’s skin paled as soon as he saw who was in charge of the distraction.

 

_na jaemin_

 

jeno’s eyes had went straight for renjun, sitting across from him, the same horrid realization passing through the older’s usually expressionless eyes.

 

“nice. we’re going out with a bang then,” jaemin had said, a smirk playing on his lips.

 

nobody laughed.

 

jaemin frowned then, huffing, “live a little. i don’t want my last memory of you guys fucking sulking. at least let _me_ go out with a bang, yeah?”

 

that’s when jeno decided. this whole gang rebellion thing was stupid. it was two larger-than-life global gangs finally snapping, taking the entire world with them. violence everywhere, violence for years. jeno had known violence since he turned five and his deadbeat father came home to beat him up because his wife had cheated on him. she was the third one. 

 

jeno never blamed his mother for leaving his father. he was happy she didn’t have to deal with him hurting her. jeno only wondered why she never took him with her. it’s not until much later he learned that she never left his father. no, he killed her. killed her for giving birth to jeno, killed her for expecting help in raising jeno, killed her for trying to save jeno. jeno was disgusted with himself when he found himself smiling a little when he found out. _she never left jeno behind. she was with him until she couldn’t be anymore._

 

jeno knew violence when he was swept up by taeyong’s fraction of the gang at the age of eleven. he was an angsty runaway.

 

it was only then when jeno learned to retaliate the violence with some of his own. and _damn, it felt good._

 

jeno’s knife was the sole thing that could calm him down. he fidgeted with it, the cool touch relaxing him, reminding him he could fight back. it was in his hands in a heartbeat when jaemin cracked a joke about being chosen to die.

 

because jaemin really only ever joked anymore when he gave up.

 

. . .

 

he’s secured his position on the roof of one of the abandoned buildings in the forest when he hears the crackle of fireworks and the bullets of jaemin’s gun go off.

 

he stops for a second.

 

_inhale._

 

this was no time to grieve. to scream. and _oh, how renjun wants to scream._

 

before he knows it, renjun has his rifle loaded and he’s found his targets. he counts down from three.

 

three.

 

_renjun had known happiness, once long ago. he had a brother, sicheng, who was his entire world. sicheng kept him safe. sicheng was his knight in shining armor, his role model. when renjun was bullied in school, sicheng would cheer him up. it was sicheng renjun went to when their dog was run over. it was sicheng who protected renjun from the death of their parents because of this world-wide war where neighbor killed neighbor._

 

_it was funny how renjun learned of how fake sicheng turned out to be. after all, there was a reason sicheng never fought off renjun’s bullies and let him suffer instead. he was only buttering renjun up so renjun wouldn’t be able to say no when he was asked, forced rather, to join the gang. the same gang sicheng was part of all these years._

 

two.

 

_renjun knows something similar to happiness now. it’s in the way jeno smiles at him, like the world will be okay, like they’ll be okay, like they’re not a trio of dumb teenagers pretending at being functional, pretending at being in comfortable love. their love is messy, it’s raw and anything but beautiful. but, jeno believes it’s beautiful and that’s all that matters to renjun. it’s in jeno’s kisses, jeno’s touch, light as a feather yet holding so much meaning he couldn’t convey in words. jeno’s warmth, a presence that comforts renjun yet doesn’t quite let him escape from the cold. it’s lukewarm at best. lukewarm keeps renjun alive and sane. lukewarm lets renjun breathe._

 

one.

 

_it’s in jaemin’s aura, the confidence he holds himself with around others while he sheds the layers in the privacy of renjun and jeno. it’s in jaemin’s promises of a real life after this was all done with, his dreams of a nice place to themselves where they could love in peace, forever. where they could be jeno, renjun, and jaemin in all their glory without having to hide, without having to fear. jaemin is fire, scalding renjun here and there, not being the best fit for renjun, but passionate nonetheless. jaemin burns, he burns with such intensity, renjun can’t look away. jaemin lives to ignite. and renjun loves it. he loves being burned._

 

renjun pulls the trigger.

 

_it’s in the way jeno cares. it’s in the way jaemin doesn’t._

 

renjun pulls the tigger until he loses count, until all the heads he identifies as the other side, the other gang, are all lifeless.

 

_almost as lifeless as himself._

 

renjun wishes sicheng was at the end of his bullets. but that’s a battle for another day.

 

_exhale._

 

then renjun’s head feels like it’s been split open and he sees stars swirling in his eyes.

 

_like the stars he liked to gaze at with jaemin and jeno. like the stars jeno would point out and name, the ones jaemin would kiss them under._

 

only a moment after, the pain intensifies and renjun’s vision changes to darkness. complete darkness, without any of those stars.

 

. . .

 

jeno, mark, and jisung are out in the field, in the midst of it all. jeno is slashing left and right, mind full of jaemin and whether he was alive or not, mind full of renjun and if he had enough bullets to shoot before someone found his location.

 

he vaguely acknowledges the motions of mark and jisung right near him, a regular comfort on the battlefield. those two always have his back here. they’re always fighting to the death with him, knowing one wrong move could mean their demise. they were always one stab, one well-aimed shot from an enemy, one miscalculated one from renjun away from their end.

 

it was part terrifying, part purely exhilarating.

 

eventually jeno rips his blade through so many people, he’s where jaemin should have landed from his twenty feet death drop. and that’s exactly where he finds jaemin, his legs bent in too many directions that jeno didn’t even think were possible.

 

jeno changes his mind. _this is fucking horrifying_.

 

. . .

 

donghyuck takes out the strays that try to escape or give warning. he’s exhausted at all the running, all the stealth that’s required of this, but he wants to protect his pseudo-family of seven boys. he doesn’t want to entertain the possibility of any of them dying, even though it was more than likely. instead, he does what he does best: _run_.

 

when he finishes his scope of the area, making sure that there’s no rogue gang member left, he runs to where jaemin held his great distraction, drawing the opposing gang to him and his loud laments of surrender, a suicide mission in disguise.

 

donghyuck detours a bit to where he knows chenle is. they’re going to need chenle. in the slight chance jaemin survived the fall _and_ the fight, they’d need chenle. so, donghyuck finds the young medic before guiding him to jaemin.

 

jeno, mark, and jisung are surrounding jaemin’s body when they get there.

 

jaemin is the worst sight donghyuck has seen in ages and donghyuck kills people for a living. even chenle steels himself at the boy and chenle goes into surgeries with that big smile on his face.

 

“it’s a compound fracture,” chenle breathes out as he inspects jaemin, “it’s a shit ton of compound fractures, but first I need to figure out if he’s dead, in a coma, or just knocked out.”

 

as chenle gets to his devices, donghyuck grimaces.

 

“you don’t need to be a medical genius to figure out his legs snapped when you can see his bones protruding outside his body.”

 

jeno ignores donghyuck’s crude remark and hesitantly asks if jaemin’s dead. chenle pokes around a little, runs a few tests on jaemin before he sighs. “he’s not dead.”

 

jeno releases a breath and a few tears.

 

“but it’d be better if he was,” chenle bites his cheek. he can hear jeno’s heart break into pieces. the pieces he’d have to pick up later because that’s what chenle _does_. he fixes people.

 

“oh,” jeno says.

 

chenle only swallows in response.

 

“we’re going to have to take him to taeil,” he murmurs.

 

. . .

 

it’s a week before jaemin wakes up. his body aches and his legs feel like they’re not there. that’s when he remembers what happened and he winces before gathering the mental energy (and the strength) to check.

 

his legs are still there. _thank god_.

 

they’re in a lot of pain and jaemin doubts he could stand, let alone walk, but it’s something. there’s bandages all around them and jaemin doesn’t even want to know how bad it was when he was first found.

 

there’s no one in the dingy room he’s in, but this peaceful and dreary setting is familiar to him.

 

_taeil._

 

said medic appears through the door to jaemin’s room just then. his eyebrows scrunch up for a second, as if he can’t believe jaemin’s conscious—jaemin can’t quite believe that either, so it’s fair—but his face morphs into a gentle smile.

 

 _not quite. it doesn’t reach his eyes_ jaemin notes.

 

“welcome back, jaemin.” taeil’s voice is soothing. Too soothing.

 

“what happened?”

 

taeil’s smile drops. he stares jaemin straight in the eyes when he answers.

 

“you won’t want to be back.”

 

. . .

 

soon after, taeil explains the healing process for his legs before he finishes a routine examination of them and leaves, calling in the others.

 

it’ll take a year for jaemin to fully heal, if everything goes smoothly. jaemin curses himself and his luck.

 

the older medic wouldn’t answer any of jaemin’s questions, telling him that it wasn’t his place to tell him.

 

chenle is the first thing jaemin sees after taeil leaves. jaemin nods at the younger boy, in thanks. jaemin knows chenle must have gotten him to taeil and helped with the surgery done on his legs.

 

chenle’s eyes drop to the ground.

 

jaemin’s eyes find mark’s. they do the same as chenle’s.

 

the panic starts to set in. jaemin counts the number of people who just entered his room.

 

_five. not six._

 

he locates each one, and begs, hopes that the one missing is just outside.

 

_chenle, mark._

 

jaemin prays again. for the second time in years.

 

_jeno, jisung._

 

he finds himself longing for jeno, for jeno’s embrace, making jaemin believe that he was safe. jeno was alive. jeno was okay. maybe his prayers worked.

 

_donghyuck._

 

jaemin’s heart swells, glad that all of them made it out of that ugly fight. they were okay. _jaemin’s distraction was enough._ but then, his heart crumples in on itself.

 

jaemin takes a shaky breath. he counts to ten.

 

“where’s renjun?” he asks.

 

the crestfallen faces of the others gives jaemin his answer. mark’s legs give up under him and donghyuck catches him before he hits the tiled floor. jeno leaves the room, hovering just outside.

 

_no, it wasn’t enough. it wasn’t nearly enough._

 

 _“_ we won,” mark spits out. it’s pained.

 

jaemin shakes his head.

 

“we didn’t win if they took the most precious thing from us.”

 

jaemin hears a cry wrench itself out of jeno’s throat.

 

 _taeil was right._ jaemin lets the dark consume him again.

 

. . .

 

the night before the fray was the most intimate jaemin had known. they knew what was going to happen the next day, but they refused to acknowledge it. instead, they kissed each other with ten times the fervor.

 

jeno’s hand was clasped in his as jeno’s mouth was latched onto jaemin’s neck. jaemin’s other hand was in renjun’s hair, grip tightening as renjun kissed him like nothing he’s ever done before. renjun was desperate, he pressed roughly, despairingly, against jaemin’s lips. the two boys elicited sounds from jaemin he’d be embarrassed of, but there was no room for embarrassment that night.

 

jaemin broke the kiss to find renjun’s neck, the spots he knew renjun felt the most. jeno gave jaemin’s hand a squeeze before he left jaemin’s neck for renjun’s lips. renjun felt lightheaded but he wanted more. he wanted more before he couldn’t have any of this again.

 

renjun and jeno parted for air, gasps coming from them as jaemin took jeno’s chin and kissed everywhere before landing on his lips. jeno’s kiss was gentle but it grew ferocious, hand cupping jaemin’s face. renjun kissed both of them on every juncture he could access. jaemin’s cheek, jeno’s shoulder.

 

jaemin never realized tears were slipping down his face until he could see the anguish in jeno’s eyes as jeno wiped them away, his touch lingering on jaemin’s cheek. renjun kissed where the tears had fallen, his lips soft against jaemin’s skin.

 

“i love you both so much. i love you so much, i’m scared.” jaemin’s voice was small.

 

jeno silenced him with a chaste peck.

 

“jaemin, we love you just as much, if not more,” renjun replied. he kissed jaemin’s forehead. 

 

“i love you,” he repeated.

 

he kissed jaemin’s nose.

 

“i love you.”

 

jeno had joined in, kissing jaemin’s cheek, proclaiming the same three words.

 

“i love you.”

 

the loves of jaemin’s life spent all night kissing each part of him and telling him they loved him. that they loved each other.

 

so many hurt, hopeless kisses were exchanged that night, between all three of them.

 

jaemin woke up in between jeno and renjun’s embrace. the two snuggled jaemin into their chests, holding hands above him. he rose slightly to kiss them lightly on their foreheads mumbling what they said to him last night, back. then, he found his place in their cuddle again and slept.

 

. . .

 

mark was right, they did win the war. _their gang did._

 

the heads of their gang took control of the anarchy and established some sense of peace. there was a working government six months into jaemin’s recovery.

 

of course there were still some strays that opposed it, wanting more war instead, but their numbers were limited.

 

jeno was by his side though all of it, smiling as though everything was going to be fine.

 

_it wasn’t. jeno didn’t smile with his eyes anymore._

 

mark and donghyuck had taken to finding food and shelter for them. they found an abandoned apartment nearby and brought stacks of stashed away water bottles from a small town several miles away. it had taken the two three days to get to the town and three days to get back.

 

chenle kept track of jaemin’s recovery, jisung helping him whenever he could. chenle aided jaemin with physical therapy, but he helped _all_ of them with emotional therapy as well. jaemin wondered how chenle was so strong, doing all this for them as if it was nothing.

 

he learned chenle didn’t think of it as nothing when he woke to silent sobs and the hushed comfort jisung gave the medic when they thought they were the only ones awake.

 

renjun’s loss was devastating. mark may have been their leader, but it was renjun who cared for everyone in that strange, distant way of his. even months from the battle, renjun’s absence had left a gaping hole in all their lives.

 

after their fight was over and chenle was trying to wrap jaemin up in as many bandages as he could, donghyuck and jisung had gone to get renjun. they wondered why he hadn’t joined them yet, but they didn’t really think much of it. renjun was the least likely to be killed, in any circumstance. donghyuck hated to admit it, but renjun was the stealthiest out of them all. that, coupled with being positioned out of the area of bloodshed, almost guaranteed renjun’s survival.

 

they didn’t think he’d be gone. in renjun’s stead, jisung and donghyuck found a rifle, packs of ammo, a rusted metal bat, and multiple thick streaks of dark crimson blood. panic set in.

 

_no no no, not renjun, please not renjun_

 

in hopes he was just injured and dumped off somewhere, donghyuck looked around for the brunette while jisung ran back to the rest to inform them of what they found on the roof. the shock jeno had felt nearly knocked him out. they carried jaemin to their safe-house with chenle before mark and jeno left to search for renjun. jeno’s mind was blank. they couldn’t find him anywhere.

 

jaemin and jeno hadn’t kissed since the night before the battle. they shared small pecks here and there, but those were sparse too. they hadn’t had a real kiss. not since they had one with renjun. it didn’t feel right without renjun.

 

nothing was right without renjun.

 

 _if this was the peace after war, he didn’t want it_ , jaemin concluded. _he’d rather be in war._

 

by the look on his face—jaemin guessed he voiced his thoughts out loud—jeno agreed.

 

. . .

 

a full year and a few months had passed when chenle announced jaemin’s recovery was done. his legs would still feel painful every now and then but he could use them like before.

 

jeno congratulated jaemin, his face cheerful, his voice heavy. jaemin flashed him a cheeky smile back. that was their way now. they pretended at this game of love.

 

jeno kissed jaemin’s forehead, reminding him he still shouldn’t exert himself too much before heading out in search of food with mark and jisung.

 

what he expected to find was fruit or pre-packaged snacks from a convenience store that hadn’t been raided yet. what he didn’t expect to find was his dead boyfriend, blood and mud covering him from head to toe.

 

except he wasn’t dead. he was probably on the brink of death but he wasn’t dead. and that’s all jeno needed before he felt red cloud his senses and he flicked his blade out, rushing towards the ones keeping renjun from him.

. . .

 

renjun was kept immobile, ropes tying his hands back as he was constantly tortured for information. all he knew was darkness, they didn’t show him the light unless they had to. renjun figured he hadn’t been outside in a while.

 

eventually, probably few months in, it turned from an interrogation into a pass time for the strays to take their anger and pain at losing out on him. renjun was surprised he wasn’t dead yet. he wondered about jaemin, he wondered about jeno, he wondered about their small family and if they were okay. but his mind was slipping into insanity and he knew he was going to break soon.

 

_if not physically, then mentally._

 

there was only so much renjun could take, even if he was the most strong willed out of all of them.

 

so when his eyes registered a figure coming for him, screaming his name—was that his name? he’d all but forgotten—he assumed that he finally lost it.

 

nobody had called him renjun since the battle. who knows how long ago that was.

 

he heard shouts and grunting in the distance. renjun wanted to sleep. he wanted everyone to go away so he could finally just rest.

 

his eyes blinked one last time and in the rare brightness, he saw a figure hovering above him, fresh tears from the person’s face falling down on renjun. he barely felt the wetness, his skin stung too much.

 

something told renjun he knew this figure. he knew this built body, the high cheekbones, the slanted nose, the short black hair that fell into his face, the eyes that shimmered.

 

_jeno._

 

renjun didn’t want to sleep anymore. but sleep wanted renjun.

 

. . .

 

jisung registered jeno’s aggravated scream and his knife being whipped out. he didn’t understand what jeno had said, but the motion alone prompted jisung to grip his mallet in his fist. _why did he have to bring his mallet, today of all days? why not his axe?_

 

he ran after jeno, not knowing why he was so concerned about the almost-dead boy a few feet in front of them until recognition slapped him.

 

_there’s no way that boy was renjun, there’s no way…was there?_

 

jisung’s mallet hit the soft stomach of some guy with bloodshot eyes and he swung his body behind the man, his lithe fingers swiftly snapping the man’s neck. it had been a while since jisung had killed.

 

he saw mark realize the same when their leader shot someone in the head, point-blank. mark motioned for jeno to get to renjun first. jisung nodded in agreement. he and mark could take care of these strays. jeno needed to reach renjun before it was too late.

 

. . .

 

the walk back home was dead silent. when jeno found him, renjun had whispered his name and passed out. jeno carried him back to where they were staying and among the turmoil of emotions he felt, fear was one of the bigger ones. renjun was too light. way too light.

 

they had never gotten over renjun’s death (and probably never were) but now that he had renjun in his arms, hope was beginning to bloom in jeno’s chest. fear kept him in check.

 

_what if renjun only ended up dying? this time, in front of him and jaemin?_

 

it would kill jeno.

 

when they reached the abandoned apartment, jisung ran in first, exclaiming that they needed chenle immediately. jaemin’s eyes had widened, fearing the worst.

 

“jisung, jisung! what happened? are mark and jeno hurt?” jaemin had the boy by the shoulders, shaking him. he frowned when he saw the scratch on jisung’s cheek, freshly bleeding. jisung only shook his head.

 

“we need chenle. we have to get to taeil’s,” jisung said, looking around for said boy.

 

“i’m here! i’m here! what’s wrong?” chenle barreled into the room, medicine kit in hand. that’s when jeno walked in, renjun in his arms.

 

jaemin’s hand flew to his mouth, his eyes immediately tearing up. he shook his head. his words wouldn’t form but chenle spoke instead, his voice dangerously guarded.

 

“…renjun?”

 

. . .

 

the days renjun spent at taeil’s were some of the most anxious of jeno’s life. he didn’t know if renjun was going to wake up or not. it reminded jeno of when jaemin underwent surgery for his legs and didn’t regain consciousness for a week. he hated it.

 

the worst part was, taeil couldn’t even gather much about renjun’s condition. only that it was terrible.

 

_“he’s been through a ton of emotional and physical stress. i’m not sure you all want the details, but he was tortured by people who knew what they were doing for more than a year. he’s severely malnourished, more so than any of us,” taeil had told them, eyes flicking over the clipboard in his hands._

 

_jaemin’s hand was clasped in jeno’s, giving it occasional squeezes._

 

_“he could wake up in a few days or he might be in a coma. he might pass away in the next hour,” taeil regained his breath, spotting the young adults in front of him flinch at the statement, “i really don’t know. i’m sorry, all i can do is make sure he gets the care he needs. whether renjun’ll wake up or not is completely on him. if he’s at a point where he just wants to give up—I’m astonished he hasn’t already—he’ll give up.”_

 

jeno wanted to do more than just sit here next to renjun’s broken body. he brought his hands up to his face in frustration, sighing every few minutes. jaemin caressed renjun’s forehead and ran his fingers though his hair. the mud and blood had all been washed off and wrapped up and the ridiculously long hair they found renjun in was cut in order to tend to his injuries properly.

 

tears hot in his eyes at the sight, jeno tried to blink them away, but they began to roll down his cheeks instead. he choked back a sob but it all came crashing down.

 

“renjun, please come back to us,” jeno’s voice cracked, his body shaking as he tried to calm himself down. jaemin kissed renjun’s forehead before turning to jeno, encasing him in a hug and running a soothing hand down his back.

 

“jeno’s right, renjun. you’ve been away for too long.”

 

a twitch.

 

jeno thought he imagined it.

 

another twitch and the beginning of a smile.

 

jaemin held his breath.

 

“i have, haven’t i?”

 

relief flooded the boys by renjun’s bed. jaemin rushed to renjun’s side, weaving their fingers together. he knew he was crying but renjun only smiled.

 

“jaemin, baby, you’re okay,” he mumbled, voice tired and soft. jaemin nodded, lightly squeezing renjun’s hand.

 

“yes love, i’m okay. and you’re okay too,” jaemin breathed through his tears.

 

jeno came up beside the other side of renjun’s bed. “renjun…” he sighed. jeno raised the back of renjun’s hand and planted a small kiss on it. “you’re back.”

renjun weakly caressed the side of jeno’s cheek, letting out a tiny chuckle as he felt jeno lean into it.

 

“i missed you two. i missed you a lot,” renjun shook as he tried to sit up but jaemin forced him back down.

 

“renjun you have to rest. we missed you so much baby, we—

 

jaemin’s sobs interrupted him and he hid his face in the hand that wasn’t holding renjun’s.

 

jeno reached over renjun to gently pry his hand away from his face.

 

“it was a living nightmare without you, renjunnie. but jaems, don’t cry. we’re finally all together,” jeno voice was bittersweet.

 

“you’re such a hypocrite jeno. you’re crying too,” jaemin grinned as he brushed away the new tears that had begun to fall from jeno’s eyes.

 

renjun gasped, suddenly feeling sharp pain and his face contorted into discomfort. jaemin’s eyes shot to jeno’s in panic. jeno startled and he leapt for the door.

 

renjun reached for jeno. he looked so scared that jeno wanted nothing but to run back and hug the older boy.

 

“don’t leave jeno, please don’t leave me. i can’t be alone again.”

 

jeno’s heart shattered into minuscule shards. “i’ll be right back baby boy, i’m just going to get taeil and chenle. i promise.”

 

with that, he scrambled for the medics, screaming their names. it was easy to find them, taeil was coming for his rounds on renjun anyways. jeno burst back into renjun’s room to find jaemin whispering sweet nothings to the injured boy.

 

when chenle stormed in, he didn’t except renjun to be conscious. he was preparing himself for the worst when jeno started yelling for him and taeil like a madman.

 

but while chenle had stopping moving upon seeing renjun’s eyes open, taeil brushed past him.

 

“renjun, welcome back. where are you hurting the most?” taeil’s steely eyes settled on renjun as he checked the boy’s vitals.

 

renjun, however, was staring at chenle. “my stomach,” he replied absentmindedly. taeil nodded.

 

“you were stabbed there multiple times so that’s understandable,” he responded as he got to work.

 

“renjun, hi,” chenle squeaked, bouncing over to his side.

 

“hey chenle,” renjun gave the younger a sweet smile. he moved to ruffle chenle’s hair, but winced in pain instead. chenle snapped out of his reverie and turned to taeil.

 

“how can I help?”

 

taeil’s eyes softened at the younger medic. “you can start by cutting up some new bandages so we can redress renjun’s wounds.”

 

taeil was about to ask jeno and jaemin to wait outside when renjun piped up.

 

“can they stay?” he asked, sheepishly.

 

chenle looked towards taeil. they had a silent discussion between their gazes and taeil relented. “fine, they can stay. but stop talking renjun. you’re going to start bleeding even more.”

 

renjun nodded and chenle glanced at taeil for an okay. taeil gave him an affirmative nod.

 

“since this would hurt like a bitch otherwise, you’re going to be put under anesthesia for a bit, renjun. jeno and jaemin will be right here. chenle, if you will?”

 

chenle nodded and grinned at renjun. “see you in a bit renjun. i love you.”

 

renjun closed his eyes as chenle gave him the anesthetic.

 

. . .

 

renjun’s recovery was a relatively smooth process. he wasn’t as ruthless in nature as he was before and he tended to react strongly to everything at first. he had a number of meltdowns and panic attacks throughout the first month that gradually lessened in count.

 

but jeno and jaemin were there to help him though it. every time renjun collapsed from sudden fear, jaemin was there to comfort him. every time renjun became unreasonably violent, jeno was next to him, restraining him by hugging him until he calmed down.

 

renjun never really went back to how he was before his year-long captivity but he did begin to brighten up, day by day.

 

one thing remained the same though. he was still madly in love with the two boys who never forgot him. they were all still madly in love.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! please let me know what you thought of this piece in the comments! don't forget to stan nct uwu


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